Life at the Top
by Ghost of Fish and Bardic Jester
Summary: This is the story of the forgotten rider Marty and his adventures in a corrupt and screwed up third SSX season. EA is not pleased with the fight. Well actually they are furious and its not just the fight. The Moron Convention 3. The Day after
1. Welcome To BIG Mountain Part 1

Life at the Top A Story by Bardic Jester and Ghost Of Fish

Prologue

Season two of the SSX circuit. It started with the North American races. After all five were all done. The riders then moved on to the European and Asian courses. But one didn't, Mac Fraser during the last race in Alaska the last course in North America. He collided with a tree and broke his leg, wrist, and arm. He was done for the season.

The producers of SSX then did something no one expected. Instead of just continuing the circuit with only 11 riders. They brought in Marty. Macs cousin from Germany who was a real hit in the more underground snow skating circuit. The main reason why they brought Marty in was said to have been because the producers didn't want to lose Mac's fan base (which was the biggest in the circuit) so they brought in someone who was exactly like Mac.

The producers themselves have never given a statement on why they brought Marty in. And why didn't they just leave it at 11 riders. Or why not bring in one of the other snowboarders that were of greater skill than Marty.

That Season ended and Mac returned. The producers were planning on just getting rid of Marty and not have him back for the next season. But it was brought to their attention that the fact that they were getting really bad press about the whole matter that getting rid of him was just going to make them look worse. And so Marty was back the next year.

Since Mac came back he never has really liked Marty. He has always been afraid that since Marty replaced him once, he could do it again. Marty's only real friend on the circuit had been Kaori. But Mac doesn't like her spending time with Marty.

Welcome to BIG Mountain Part 1

Marty walked off the airplane. He landed in a small airport. The place was dreary, unwelcoming and in Marty's opinion a bad start He walked around a bit, trying to find his stuff. He got his luggage after many minutes of searching. Marty never did like airports.

He left the airport to find a white sky hover over his head. He saw a man with a square jaw and a slowly aged face holding a sign that read Marty on it. Marty rolled his eyes; he could have gotten a cab himself. He got into a black car, with a leather interier. He sat down and watched as the driver sat in the car. He didn't even bother saying a word to the driver. He really wasn't a social guy and the driver didn't seem to want a passanger who never shut up.

He looked out of his window. He could see Metro City. It was a lot bigger than he had thought, they had their fair share of skyscrapers. The city seemed to be built around the idea that snow was here to stay. The place seemed to be filled with unhappy people who were enslaved by the cold.

He then remembered that the letter he received didn't mention where he would be staying. But he was a SSX rider so it would be a nice big and fancy hotel. Those other riders wouldn't eat anything unless it was served to them on a silver platter. Marty on the other hand was living quite happy making about 15 thousand a year during the snowskate circuit.

It wasn't long until the car came to a stop. Marty looked to see what was probably the biggest and most expensive looking hotel in the city. Of course the first thing that popped into his head was 'how did I know.' He got out of his car and saw two men standing right outside of his car. One looked like age had hit him like a crowbar, while the other one seemed to look quite youthful and filled with life, his hair was long, his face was quite triangular and he was a little talled then Marty. Marty guessed that the second one and himself were around the same age.

"Good day Mister Stieber. I hope your trip went well. I am Edward Ainsworth the manager of this fine hotel that you will be staying at during your time here on big mountain," the older one informed him. The man had a large British accent, that many may argue was larger then Moby's.

Marty shook the man's hand then looked at the younger one. "Hello Marty I am Ben Weller. I will be with you for your first few days on Big Mountain. Just to help you get used to life here. Come let me show you to your room," the younger one said.

Marty nodded and Weller guided him in. They walked to the elevator it was taking a long time to come so Marty suggested taking the stairs. This was something though he would regret, for his suite was on the top level of the hotel. So it took a while before they made it to the top level. Weller then got out of the staircase and Marty followed. He guided him to a room. Weller then got out a key and opened it.

The two then walked into it and Marty was in shock. It was more than a room. There was a kitchen and a living area. The place seemed to radiate with expensive taste. The room seemed to make an "L". The living room and kitchen were right there when you opened the door, while the bedroom and washroom were around a corner to the left of you when you first enetered the room.

"Ah I see you are surprised about the size. I am sorry to say that other riders took all the other larger rooms, mainly because they have a roommate. But since there is 19 riders one doesn't have one and that one is you," Marty was shocked. Bigger? This hotel suite was the size of his apartment in America. "Now on your coffee table is a package which has the time when you will be interviewed on radio big. Your key is in the package too. There is a bar on the bottom level in this hotel. But remember it is 10 O'clock right now. If you need anything else just go to the front desk," With that Weller left the suite.

Marty walked over to a windows. He looked out to see the entire city. The view was awesome. But it was looking down the mountain. He bet that the guys on the other side of the hotel have a much better view looking up the mountain. He sat down on a couch. He then realized there was a television across from him. He turned it on he flipped through the cannels. After a while he got bored. "God I need a drink," He got up and left his room.

Once the elevator doors opened Marty came out. Then he realized that Weller never said where in the hotel bottom level the bar was. He walked around for a bit before he finally found it. It was small and definitely nothing special. He walked in and took a seat on a stool. The bar tender turned and looked at him. "Hey your one of the riders isn't you. God you people are everywhere in here."

The bar tender then pointed a little farther down the counter. Marty turned to see a large bald man named Nate sitting on a stool drinking a beer and smoking. Then he pointed behind Marty. Marty turned around and saw Psymon, Moby, and Zoe sitting at a table. He then pointed at another table that had Elise, Eddie, and Brodi, and finally another table with Luther and JP. The majority of the riders were in there.

Marty turned back to the bar tender. He ordered a beer, and started to drink it. He slowly turned back to look at the other riders. He peered over at the table of Psymon. Psymon slowly gripped some nuts and tossed them into his mouth. He pushed his chair back, slowly got up and head to the bar. He got up to right next to Marty. Psymon raised his hand to order something. But he stopped and turned and looked at Marty

"Hey your that German Mac right. How about a drinking game?" Psymon asked, he was already drunk. Marty rolled his eyes. He hadn't done a drinking game in years. Sure he won that but he didn't want to go and get extremely drunk his first night here.

"Sorry but I'll have to pass," Marty replied. He slowly then turned his head slightly trying to avoid and gaze that came off of Psymon.

Psymon then reached into his pocket. Then he got something out of his pocket. He then slammed it onto the bar. As hard as you would slam a hammer into a nail. Marty looked down to look what Psymon had just slammed onto the bar. It was two 100 dollar bills. "Would 200 bucks change your mind?"

Marty thought for a second. He figured two hundred bucks was two hundred bucks. "You are on, you need to learn something anyway. Never challenge a German to a drinking game!" Marty said.

Psymon laughed as he ordered many beers. "I don't think you realize this yet but you were just challenged by a Canadian. Where everyday is October Fest," Psymon picked up as many of the beers as he could. "Come on take a seat at one of these fine tables," Marty got up and sat across from him. Apparently this got the attention of most of the other riders in the bar as most came over to watch.

Moby then reached into his pockets and pulled out a whole whack of bills and tossed them into the centre of the table. "300 bucks on my mate Psymon," Moby said. Everyone was kind of blow away by the amount.

But not to be undone by a stupid Englishman JP reached into his pocket as well "Okay l'homme trois cent dollars on Marty," JP said putting 300 bucks on the table. About four minutes later the betting pool had reach more than 2 grand. With only JP and Luther betting on Marty.

Moby counted off and the drinking game began. It lasted for quite a while. But after a lot of beers they were both ready to collapse. Psymon was standing up and singing when he was drinking. Marty just continued to drink. Until Marty stood up "Hey Psymon cheers!" The two of them hit each others glasses and drank their enter glass and both collapsed at the same time.

Everyone was quite for a few moments until Moby went for the pot. "Well I think you all saw that Marty hit the ground before Psymon,"

But right when Moby was about to grab the pot Luther grabbed his hand. "I don't think so buddy the Canuck hit the ground first," At that point the place was about to turn into a brawl until the bar tender stepped in.

"Okay people clear out all of you," Moby grabbed a handful of money and pocketed it quickly. Then everyone then grabbed the money they put in and left. Moby and Zoe dragged Psymon out. But Marty was just left there on the ground.

The Bar tender called the front desk and had to have employees of the hotel drag Marty up to his room. after a few minutes a group of bell boys came and grabbed him. The bell boys then took him up the staircase. Cause it would have looked bad for the hotel and Marty if someone saw them. They got to Marty's room but realized they had forgot to get a key from the front desk. They decided to just leave him there and thought that someone should find him and let him in.


	2. Welcome To BIG Mountain Part 2

Welcome to BIG Mountain Part 2

Marty woke up on the couch in his room. He saw Weller in his kitchen. Weller saw that he was awake and he stopped what he was doing and walked up to him. He had a blender in his hands. Weller poured the liquid that was in it into a glass.

"I found you outside your door asleep. So I brought you in. But since you're so heavy I could only get you to your couch. Talking with the bar tender I knew you would have a huge hangover so I made you this hangover cure," Once Weller had said that. Marty felt a sharp pain in his head.

Knowing that Weller was probably telling the truth or more he hoped he was Marty grabbed the glass and chugged it down. Marty's first thought after that was to throw up on Weller for making him drink that but decided not to. He tried to get up and he felt another sharp pain from his head that almost sent him to the ground. "AH god," he said felling his head.

Weller then started to walk back to the kitchen. He put the blender down and walked over to the package by Marty's bed "It will take a while for it to kick in. But it will make your interview with DJ Atomika a little bit more pleasant in about 2 hours. Sorry I noticed that you didn't open the package so I opened it for you. So you'd have better get up and dressed we will be leaving in a bit,"

Weller then left. Marty got up and grabbed his bags. He walked to his bed and started to throw his clothes onto it. He had forgotten to unpack the day before. He hadn't felt this shitty in a long time. He took off his clothes and randomly gabbed some other clothes and put them on.

Marty was in a car with Weller driving. They were driving to the radio station. "Now Marty you will have to remember. This radio station is the only real entertainment from big mountain. We have no television station or anything. So try your hardest to make a good impression,"

It wasn't long until they were at the station. Marty walked in and took a seat and waited. It wasn't long until DJ Atomika called him in. Atomika had a large build. He had long hair and a huge beard. Basically you average looking radio DJ.

Marty walked over into the booth. It was a crammed and smelled like a skunk had lived in it. There was food wrappers and records all over the floor. He sat down in the chair next to Atomika and put his headphones on.

Then Atomika took off his head phones and a little confused Marty took off his. "Sorry about the mess, we had the "Official" launch of EA Radio BIG yesterday. You see this place used to be 94.1 "The Snow" but EA, being all high and mighty decided to change it," Atomika whispered. Marty nodded his head.

Then very quickly Atomika practically threw his head phones on. Marty, still very new to this radio thing, while watching Atomika, slowly put his on.

"Hello BIG mountain!" Atomika screamed into the mike. "All you lucky listeners in mad party snowboard heaven land, you are currently listening to the new and improved SNOW! Now called EA Radio BIG, or BIG Radio for all you stupid people out there," Atomika then grabbed a glass of water and drank it all down. "Now continuing with the rider interviews this morning I have with me now Marty!" When he said Marty he pushed this button that made this "wow" sound. "Or as most of you know him as "Mac mach 2"

"No, no, please don't call me that. I am Marty, not Mac or Mac 2 because by saying that you are saying he is superior. But let's just let our riding decide that!" Marty said. Trying to get into Atomika's mood. Atomika turned to him and gave him the thumbs up.

"Oh, you hear that Mac, dem's fighting words," and at that again Atomika pushed a button to make a sound effect except this time it was a "ohhh" one. "So Marty what do you like to do on your free time?"

"Well, I don't know, I did a lot of hiking during the summer, I traveled a lot. And I kind of grew a liking to folk if you can believe it. Also of course snowboarding, snow skating and well, I really can't think of any other," Marty said.

Atomika thought for a minute, then asked "Folk? Really? What kind of folk do you listen to?"

"Oh well the most popular one would be Beck. He's got some rad stuff. And well some other bands,"

"Very cool man, very cool, well that about wraps up our time, do you got a favorite Beck song you would like the rest of BIG mountain to experience?" Atomika said standing up. Marty followed.

"Oh yeah E-pro off his latest album," Marty told Atomika.

Atomika went straight to the self, pulled out a record and popped it in. "Excellent chose, here you go people a little E-pro by Beck," Atomika said pressing a button and then sitting back on his chair.

"That was a little short," Marty said picking up his coat that he must have dropped without realizing.

"Yeah, they want me to go through all 19 riders. Also it can only take a few seconds. Actually I am known for long interviews. There was once this hometown band that was playing a large venue here once. So I interviewed them in the morning. It ended up going like five hours, that was tons of fun. Look you stop in here whenever you want and we will have a real interview instead of whatever the fuck that was. We have an open door policy for SSX riders," Atomika said.

Marty nodded his head and headed for the door. But right before he left he turned back. "Hey could you do me a favor?" he headed back to DJ Atomika.

Marty left there feeling a little better then when he got in. He found Weller talking to this girl outside of the car with another girl standing next to her. The girl was covered in freckles and had long braided hair. "Hello," Marty said as he walked towards the car. Weller quickly stopped what he was doing and ran to open the door for Marty.

"Hey your Marty right?" the girl asked.

"Yeah, I'm Marty," Marty said getting in the car. "What about it?"

"My name is Allegra, I am one of the new riders. And the girl next to me is Melissa my guide and driver." she didn't seem very enthusiastic as she said that."I just wanted to say hello. I was just talking with your guide. I have an interview with this guy named Atomika. That should be interesting," Allegra rolled her eyes as she said that. "Hey what the fuck is up with your hair?"

Marty laughed for a second. "Have fun with the interview, Atomika is a cool guy. And what is so bad about the hair?" Marty said feeling his hair. He had never thought it was bad. Allegra shook her head and walked off. "So Weller i guess we should go back to the hotel."

"Yes sir." Weller said as he turned the key. The engine started up and the car started to move. They were around half way there when the engine started to smoke and the car stopped. "Fucking shit!" Weller yelled. He ran out of the car. He opened the hood and started to swear more.

"Do you want my help Weller?" Marty asked as he got out of the car.

"No, no way. You are a celebrity here. If you have to get out of the car to help your driver, everyone will think that Mac is better then you," Marty was about to ask something but then another car pulled in, right next to them.

The car looked exactly like the one Marty was driving in. Suddenly one of the black tilted windows slowly opened in the back. Marty walked up to see who was inside.

To his surprise there was a blonde haired guy with two super model looking girls clinging onto him. The guy looked over Marty for a few seconds before saying. "Looks like, Mac, isn't Mac, so it must be Marty!" The blonde haired guy took one of his arms out for around one of the girl's waist. He then put it out to be shaken.

Marty, not liking how this guy does first impressions took the guy's hand and shook it. "You must be Viggo?" Marty was surprised when Viggo nodded his head in acknowledgment. Marty wondered what the hell was Viggo doing with those super models. Wasn't he dating Allegra.

"Well looks like your having some car troubles. I would gladly take you back to the hotel. But there's no room left in here," Viggo then put his arm back around one of the super models and squeezed them real tight against him. All the while the girls were giggling.

Marty looked back at his car then at Viggo. "That's okay see you back at the hotel," Marty then walked away from Viggo's car. Viggo's car then started to drive off. Of course leaving shooting dust at Marty. He walked back to Weller who had just hanged up his phone.

As he approached Weller. Weller's attention went strait to Marty. "Oh this cars engine is done. They currently coming by to pick you up," about twenty minutes later a car pulled up. Marty got into it. Weller walked up and closed the door for Marty. Marty rolled down the window and looked at Weller.

"Well I got to wait here for the truck to come and take this car away. Don't worry you will have a brand new car for tomorrow," And with that the car started to drive away.

Marty sat in the car and watched the scenery go by. The trip didn't take to long. Marty asked the driver to put on some music. The driver put on some Japonese pop, and in five minutes Marty informed him that he really didn't feel like listening to music.

When they got there Marty left the car and started to walk into the hotel. Also Marty realized that Weller had forgotten to tell Marty where to find him. Which Marty knew for sure was going to screw him over.

When he got into the lobby, Psymon was freaking out and Moby seemed to be threatening the guy at the desk. Psymon, walked over to Marty. Psymon then put a cigarette in his mouth. "You know man, you can really hold your liquor.

"What is up with Moby?" Marty asked looking at Moby. Moby had a very angry face, plus the person at the desk looked like he was wishing for something that would get him out of there.

"Oh the usual. He wants every single key to his room, he even had to punch the guy who was showing him around to get the guy's key. The desk clerk, seems to have not taken the one hundred bucks that Moby has offered him," Psymon said all this as if he was talking about someone walking down the street to get milk.

"Or, in other words, the clerk will get a few bruises if he doesn't say yes?" Marty said. Moby seemed to be discreetly kicking the desk.

"Yeah, this looks like it may become bloody, I can't wait!" Psymon said like a kid waiting for ice cream.

"Yeah, I better get to my room, I feel like shit," Marty said. He walked towards the elevators and pushed the up button. When the elevator opened, first he heard a thud and a scream. Then when he went to go into it, he found Mac and Kaori making out, very intensely. Marty watched them for two seconds, before deciding that this would be a bad first impression for a new season.

Marty turned around and started to walk towards the stairs. He slowly made his way up. He got to the main floor and headed for his room. Nate was standing in the middle of the hallway smoking. Marty looked at him "Dude why are you standing in the middle of the hallway?"

With that Nate just shrugged. "Well since I have Griff as my roommate. His parents made it very clear to me. That I shouldn't smoke in the room. I would be down in the smokers lounge but that's to far for a smoke,"

"Yeah I guess you have a point." Marty said. "But then again I would probably have just said go fuck yourself, then they might have pulled Griff and I would have one less person to worry about," Marty said. Nate gave Marty a very weird stare and then he put out his cigarette and went back in the room.

Marty then started to walk towards his room chuckling to himself slightly. He got to his door and searched himself for a bit trying to find his key. When he found it he opened the door and walked in.

The room was dark and very empty. He got to his kitchen and fixed himself up a meal. He ate it quickly and then decided he felt like sleeping. Since the couch was closer he decided to sleep on that.


	3. Welcome To BIG Mountain Part 3

Welcome to BIG Mountain Part 3

After quite a few hours he woke to see that the clock read 10:00, he swore to himself for sleeping that long. He got up and turned on te radio and then lied back down.

"_So Mac, to rap this up what do you do on your free time?" _Marty heard Atomika say.

"_Well I mostly do skateboarding and snowboarding. Nothing else really. I hate doing anything else really. Oh I also like beating up skiers and I do a little skydiving," _A voice that was clearly Mac said. Atomika laughed for a moment at the skier comment.

"_Well right now I would usually ask you to make a request but instead."_ Atomika said. He made a little pause. Marty could just see Mac's confused face. _"Your cousin Marty was kind enough to say this "If I had to choose a song that would best fit Mac, I would know exactly which one," And here it is, a little Loser by Beck" _

As the song went on Marty couldn't stop himself from laughing. Mac was so going to kill him for this one. Marty could just picture Mac's face. Marty knew he was so dead.

The next thing Marty knew, there was a knock on the door. He got up and walked to the door.

When he opened it Eddie walked in laughing slightly to himself. "Turn on the radio man," Eddie said but realizing that it was already on, he didn't say anything more on the subject. "Hey man we are going partying tonight, come along. Meet us out of the hotel in 10," and with that Eddie left the room and closed the door behind him.

Marty thought to himself for a few moments. He had never really been a party person. Then he realized this was his first full day on Big mountain. So he said to himself what the heck. He went back to his closes bag which he still hadn't unpacked. Put on his plaid coat and headed out his room.

On the way down he didn't run into anyone. Once outside he saw Eddie, Nate, and Allegra all standing outside. Eddie noticed Marty and he waved Marty to follow. The group really didn't talk but finally only about four blocks from their hotel was a big concert hall which read The Day Shack.

They entered inside and the place was packed, a little too packed for Marty's liking. Fancy lights everywhere, there was some kind of live music but from the door you couldn't see the stage. They walked into the large crowd. About 10 seconds later Marty realized that he had lost everyone in the group. So he noticed that there was a balcony above him so he tried to find the stairs up. After about a few minutes he found the staircase. Up on the balcony it was less crowded. There was a bar at the back of it. Marty walked down to get a seat somewhere. He found one right at the front of balcony. He could see the stage really well. It was a DJ, he could also see the entire bottom level was completely packed.

Marty looked back up at everyone on the balcony. He really didn't see anyone but then he say Moby at the bar. Not only that Moby saw Marty and walked down to him. "Oi Marty. Mate what you did on the radio. Couldn't of done it better myself. You have went up big time in my books,"

He patted Marty on the back. Moby then headed back up to the bar. The music then stopped a minute later. He DJ picked up the mic. "How yall doing tonight!" there was multiple shouts at that. "There have been many SSX rider spottings tonight. So to clear things up its time for some shout outs to all SSX riders here. When I call your name if your in the front wave your hand or jump up and down or something. If your in the back stand on one of the chairs. And if your in the balcony stand and wave,"

."Lets start with ALLEGRA! There she is in the front. Okay how about BRODI? Well? No Brodi? Okay moving on with EDDIE! OH there he is in the back. Alright ELISE? No Elise? Okay now the young GRIFF? Oh there he is! Security! We have a minor in here. Na I'm just kidding! Okay now HIRO? Oh there he is up in the balcony, Now JP? Here he is in the front row. Okay JURGEN? No Jurgen? Alright is KAORI in the building? Oh there she is in the back! Well I know he's here LUTHER! Right at front row. Okay people the one the only MAC? Oh there he is right in the back. Alright folks MARISOL? Ah right in the front. okay MARTY?" Marty stood up and waved. "Oh there on the balcony. MOBY?" Marty looked back to see Moby standing on the bar.

"OI MOBY JONES IS IN THE HOUSE MATE!" Moby yelled.

"Well folks that's Moby for you in the back Balcony. Alright NATE? Ah there he is in the back. K people PSYMON? Oh man there he is right in the dead center. You poor, poor people. Right SEEIAH? Right here in the front too. VIGGO?" All of a sudden Viggo jumped onto stage then jumped onto the crowd and started to crowd surf. "In case you people missed it that was Viggo. Now last but not least ZOE! Right there currently making out with Psymon! Now that they're all here lets get this party getting NUTS!"

The DJ finally stopped talking and the music resumed.

That DJ has terrible grammar Marty thought to himself. He walked to the middle of the balcony, everybody seemed to move away when he got close, as if he were a bog monster, or a very fragile, expensive vase and no one wanted to be close enough to be blamed for braking it.

When he got to the middle, he sat down and watched the stage. The DJ was going nuts, and there seemed to be five other people on stage doing some kid of dancing. Bad dancing at that, Marty coughed and thought how much money those dancers must get for just a one hour set.

He stopped thinking about that though when a beer was put in front of him. He turned around to see a waitress walk into the crowd and disappear. Marty then remembered Weller saying "You are a celebrity here," well if that meant he would keep getting free beer then he was all for it. Although he made a mental note to not go near the bar and sneak out so that if they changed their mind they wouldn't be able to charge him.

Then two girls who looked to be thirty, but were trying to stay hip came up to him. "Hey your that Marty guy!" One of the girls half announced, half giggled.

"Hey do you think I would have a shot with Mac?" the other one asked pushing the other out of the way.

"Do you think I could get him to sign my breasts?" the other yelled throwing the other out of the way. Marty coughed then laughed hard. The two of them stared at him for a few minutes. Marty then coughed, then he pointed to the stage. The girls then looked at the stage to see Mac getting on it. They then shrieked so loud they would make banshee's jealous.

Everybody on the balcony then stared at them, some swearing quite loudly. Marty decided then that this was probably the best time to escape. He grabbed his beer and ran to the stair case, and no one noticed and/or cared. He got to ground level and passed Griff who was smoking a joint. Marty then stopped turned around, grabbed the joint from Griff and said "These are bad for you," then he walked off to find Moby.

Before that he found Eddie singing the lyrics to a song that wasn't being played, on top of a table. Once he noticed Marty though he jumped down in front of Marty. But instead of landing softly he tripped on his landing and fell almost face first. When he got up he said "Fucking shit, ass munchers!" Kicking the ground he looked at Marty. "I thought you told me you gave that up?" Eddie said, while pointing at the joint Marty was holding.

"Actually, I have, I found Griff smoking this," Marty said, in a matter of fact tone of voice.

"Bitchin', so I guess you want to find Moby now?" Eddie asked in a joking tone. "Well, since you apparently aren't going to use it, pass it to me dude." Marty then chuckled to himself, then started to continue to look for Moby. "Hey come on! I am serious! Fuck you man! Oh hey ladies."

Marty finally found Moby drinking a drink from a black bottle. Marty walked up to him. Moby, staring at the joint in his hand asked "Hey I thought you quit that mate?" Then to Marty's surprise Moby grabbed him from his front collar and picked him up from the ground. "Oi fucker, you didn't switch dealers did you?" Moby sounded like a wolf who just got his tail of, very angry.

"Shit no, I found Griff smoking this shit, and yes I did quit," Marty said, Moby accepting his answer let him down.

"So now you are here to find out if I sold him it?" Moby asked throwing his hands into the air. "Well I didn't," Moby said, folding his arms.

"Yo? do you got anymore of that?" Marty asked pointing to Moby's black bottle. Moby looked at his bottle and smiled.

"Man, you have a beer in your hand," Moby said.

Marty looked at his beer and set it down on a table a small ways away. He then came back to Moby and showed his hands "There problem solved. How much?"

"One hundred bucks," Moby said. Marty choked for a second and looked at Moby. Moby on the other hand stayed still, and his face remained serious. "Mate this is absinth, it is illegal."

"I know what it is. Here," Marty said taking out a hundred dollars and he put it in Moby's pocket. Moby then took out a fully black bottle from his coat. and passed it to Marty. Marty took it and shook it next to his ear. "What the fuck, how much is in here?"

"A hundred bucks worth. By the way don't even think about drinking that shit here. It is crawling with security guards," Moby said taking a sip of his black bottle. Marty just rolled his eyes and walked onto the dance floor.

On the dance floor Marty couldn't see anyone he knew. So he basically just stood there. He didn't bother dancing since well no one was dancing. And it wasn't a few hours later when he decided to leave. Not able to make his way to the front door he left through a side door.

He had exited into a alleyway. It was dark and empty. Except for Nate who was smoking next to the door. It took a few moments for the two to realize each others presence. "Oh hey Nate," Marty said.

Nate not bothering to even look at Marty replied "Hey Marty," Marty took out his black bottle and took a sip of it. Nate looked over and saw the bottle. "Hey what's in the bottle?"

"Its absinth. I am going to wait until I get back to the hotel before I start imagining some fucked up shit," Marty said.

"Well have fun with that," Nate said. He dropped his cigarette then put it out with his boot. He then turned back to the door of the concert hall. Marty at this point turned around and started to walk out of the alleyway. Nate opened the door to the concert hall door and started to walk in when four guys walked out right passed him. Nate shrugged his shoulders and walked in and closed the door.

Marty paid not attention to new comers in the alleyway. Then he was pushed from behind. Marty stumbled but stayed standing. Unfortunately dropping the black bottle onto the ground where it shattered. He turned to see two guys facing him both looked around his age. Then all of a sudden his arms were grabbed from behind. Then one of the two walked up to Marty.

"Well if it isn't Marty. Let me introduce myself I am Captain. And we are all Macs Army," Marty's eyes widened.

Macs Army is a group of Macs male fans. There are thousands of them all over the world. What the fuck did they want with me Marty wondered.

But before Marty could wonder any more he got a fist right in the gut. Then he got one in his face. Then the two holding him let him got. One sent a large blow to his back and Marty went down onto the ground. Then all four started to kick him on the ground. But it was only for about 20 seconds until. The door opened and the door slammed shut. One turned to look who it was when a fist found its way to his face.

Marty looked up to see Psymon and Moby. Psymon grabbed the guy he had just punched and threw him against a wall. Moby grabbed another and punched the guy right in the stomach so much the guy was sent to the ground. Moby wasn't done yet, he kicked the guy in the face on his way down. Making the guy be sent back. Moby then punched him in the face. The guy was probably knocked him out with the second blow. Psymon now grabbed Captains hair and pulled him up. Marty had gotten to his feet by now and punched Captain in the face. Moby then knocked Captain the ground and started to kick him rapidly. The fourth one started to run away. No one tried to run after him.

Once Moby was done with nearly killing the guy and started putting the knocked out dudes into a large dumpster. He looked over at Marty. "Oi Marty the jackets these guys are wearing," Marty then cut him off after this.

"Yeah they were Macs Army," Marty said.

Then all of a sudden Luther and JP came from the door of the concert hall. Both looked at Psymon and Moby who were tossing the knocked out kids into the dumpster. "Holy fuck are those Macs Army? Why the hell didn't save any for us dick head?" Luther asked.

Psymon shrugged "Well one ran off in that direction," Psymon said pointing to one exit of the alleyway. Luther and JP looked at each other.

"Come on homme lets go," JP said and him and Luther started to run in the direction of the guy who ran away.

After Marty finally got back to the hotel. He went straight to his room though he took the stairs up to it cause he didn't want anyone to see him beat up as bad as he was. Once in it he tried to get some sleep. All was well but before Marty could shut his eyes. The wall behind Marty's bed started to thump. Marty got up and put his ear to the wall. When all of a sudden he heard. "OH YES VIGGO OH MY GOD!" So loud that Marty fell of his bed. Weird Marty thought, that didn't sound like Allegra. For the next ten minutes the wall would not stop thumping and the constant screaming Marty just gave up.

"Fuck this shit I am sleeping on the couch."


	4. The Moron Convention Part 1

Well, we are back from a small break but we are back with "The Moron Convention" all done

Reviews- I would like to thank NA for being our only real reviewer and fan (Thanks for all the heads ups)

Disclaimer - We do not own SSX or any of the SSX riders, but we do own the plot lines so please don't steal those.

Here we go

The Moron Convention Part 1

"_Hey everyone in crazy snowboard land, this is DJ Atomika coming at you. I hope everyone out there has been having fun out there! Yesterday was competition number 3. Which is also which season this is, of SSX of course. Currently in first Elise is lovin' her gold and bronze medal's. It has been ten days now since Marty was attacked by four members of Mac's Army, Mac has constantly denied ordering it but our friend Inside scoop Johnny has said he has some proof that Mac is lying. But then again you all know Johnny, who is still convinced that Charlie Chaplin and Hitler are the same person, and he believes the great dictator is his proof. So this should be a laugh. Okay this is DJ Atomika coming at you from EA radio BIG, this morning show will be right back!"_

Marty swore to himself as he got up. Where the hell was that radio Marty thought. It took him a minute to figure out that he was sleeping on his couch. He stood for a second and looked around.

There was a girl who looked to be 18 in only a t-shirt making eggs. She looked at him a smiled. "Good morning," she said. Then Viggo came up from behind her and started to kiss her neck. Him on the other hand seemed to be wearing just a towel. One of Marty's towels to be more exact.

Then Marty remembered what had happened last night. He jumped up and walked towards Viggo slowly, yelling "What the fuck you pussy, just because Allegra is in your room waiting for doesn't mean you can break into my room to sleep with one of your little whores! If you ever do this again I will kill you, shit, you could have at least used my couch instead of my bed. Now I am going to have to have all of the sheets cleaned. And to think they just came back from the last time you did this!" Marty was steaming, he pushed Viggo who opened the fridge when he fell on it.

Viggo rushed and grabbed a beer from it and offered it to Marty. "I brought some beer man," Viggo said a little afraid of what he was going to do.

"And you are damn lucky you did that or you would have died," Marty yelled grabbing it from Viggo's hand. "Now I have to go to Moby's room. Now if I come back you'd better be gone. Or have a six pack in hand,"

Marty left the room drinking the beer. He walked over the to next room. He saw JP in a leather jacket standing outside the doorway. Inside Moby was standing in a t shirt and boxers with the United Kingdom flag on them. Moby handed JP a bag with white powder in it. "Okay now pay up," Moby told JP.

JP opened the bag put his finger in and then took it out and looked at the white powder. He then dropped the powder on his finger back into the bag. Then closed it. "Will you take a check?" JP asked.

Moby grabbed JP by the collar and lifted him up. "The Fuck? You know how I do business! Cash Only!" Moby nearly yelled. Then he grabbed the bag from JP and threw JP against the wall across the hall.

JP slowly got up grabbing his back which was probably now in pain. "Come on man the nearest bank machine is like ten blocks away."

Moby looked at JP with a very serious face. "Start walking," JP hesitated for a few seconds before walking away. Moby at this point noticed Marty standing right next to the door. "Hey mate what can I do for you?"

"Well I need your mothers hard liquor corn flakes oatmeal recipe. I appear to have lost my copy of it. I was looking for it all of yesterday," Marty said.

Moby nodded his head. "Sure let me just go and get it. Please come in," Moby walked into his kitchen. Marty walked into the suite. He went to the main living area. He then looked over into Moby's room to see a girl sitting up on it with a sheet covering most of her body. She waved at him. Marty awkwardly waved back. He then looked to the other side of the suite to see Mac fast asleep on his bed. For respect for Moby Marty tried not to spit on the floor after seeing Mac. "Oi here you go," Moby said from behind Marty. He turned to see Moby right behind him.

"Thanks Moby," Marty grabbed the piece of paper with the recipe. He then left the room. Walking back into his room he was glad to see that Viggo and that chick were gone. Which made Marty happy until he realized that Viggo still had his towel.

"That fucker," Marty said out loud. He went into his room and was about to make himself breakfast when he looked at his kitchen. Everything was a mess, there were pans all over, the sink was overflowing, there was food all over the counters and floor. "God what the fuck were they doing while they were making breakfast?...ew, great now I will have to hose this down." Marty then walked through his front door and put that "Please Make Up" sign on his door knob.

He walked through the hotel and left through the front door. He crossed the street and walked into a café. He walked to the front counter and ordered "One really big cup of your strongest coffee."

Before the person behind the counter could argue Marty walked to a table with two seats. Marty loved doing that, and he could get away with it because he was a celebrity. He waited a few minutes until a very nervous looking waitress came up to him and gave him a large cup. Then she ran away as if it were a bomb. Marty took one sip and said "Hmmm it's okay, they get to live." Then he gave the counter a thumbs up, they looked at him as if he were an alien. They just didn't get it, Marty thought to himself.

Kaori then walked through the front door and sat at his table. "Hey Marty, I hope you are not still angry at Mac, you know he didn't order that attack." Marty though pretended he didn't hear that.

"Look, you cannot possibly believe him, he is full of bullshit, he hasn't said any true thing to me since this damn season started," Marty said while taking a huge gulp of his coffee.

"Fuck you, your just jealous aren't you? that he is in second place and that he has me," Kaori said. Marty stared at her for a moment. He had never heard her swear before.

"You think it is jealousy! How the fuck is it jealousy? He sent four of his fans to beat me up in an alley, period. Every word he says isn't true, how naive can you be? And for the last time, we did break up, I have no more feelings for you! You dumped me, you fucking threw me out. You could have just broken up with me, but no, not you. You had to crush me, destroy me, now you accusing me of being the one at fault?" Marty yelled crushing his fists on the table.

"You always did this, blew thins out of proportion, blaming everything on someone, you never did try to be nice or believe anything that didn't come from your fucked up head!" Kaori yelled standing up quickly. She strode out of the café, still standing tall and proud.

I hope no reporters are in this room or they would be jumping with joy, Marty thought to himself noticing that everybody in the café was staring at him. He took a sip of his coffee. "Wow this is pretty good."

Before he was done he stood up and left. He walked back to the hotel. He then called for a car and not long after a nice black car drove up right next to him. He got in and it drove away. Marty told the driver his desired destination. It was not long until the car stopped and Marty got out. He walked up and into the building. There was a person at the front desk. Marty walked right passed her. He opened a door and walked in.

"AND Were Back! I'm DJ Atomika the eyes and ears of the SSX circuit. And we have a special guest here. Ladies and Gentleman give your silent radio applause for MARTY!" Atomika screamed Marty's name. Marty was across for him with head phones on.

"Hello BIG mountain! I'm Marty the lord and master of the Marty fan group. Glad to be back for my third real interview here on EA Radio Big,"-Marty

"So Marty we all know about your disappointing semi final what were your comments on that race. Of course the only people who interviewed you after the race was EA Germany. Cause EA Canada only interviews the winners. Or Elise but she is usually the winner. And that is Besides the point." -Atomika

"Very much so. Well after about the fourth session I decided I needed to kick it into over drive if I was going to qualify. So I saw that shortcut and went for it. Unfortunately I was going too fast and didn't see the ice. So I slid off into the powder. Where I lost control and the side of my board crashed into a tree. Of course making me go spinning to the ground. And I was very shaken from that crash and I wasn't able to make up the ground I had just lost." -Marty

"Ah yes that shortcut is a very tricky one. It caused the demise of Seeiah during the Quarter final. As well it almost cost Psymon the silver medal." -Atomika

At this point commercials went for a few moments until it went back to Marty and Atomika.

"AND Were Back! I have with me still Marty! Yours and mine favourite SSX rider Marty don't you think its weird how in all these magazines are only interested in all the different relationships of the different riders." -Atomika

"Yeah when they should be talking about one of their own, a truly great reporter. People listen closely Atomika here is currently going out with this one girl. You may have heard about her or more heard her. The main announcer of the SSX Circuit. Why aren't they in the magazines. She is a lot more interesting then say Griff" –Marty

"Well technically I am not a reporter, and when I am I am more of a fake one but anyway. That's right. I promised her I would never announce it on the air. Of course she never said anything about clarifying it. Ah I am so going to die when I get home." -Atomika

"Yup and it's all going to be my fault. Sorry Claire." -Marty

"But anyway back on topic. You look at all these celebrity magazines. And you have the big movie stars and then you look at the third from last page and there is a picture of Kaori and Mac holding hands. And I just don't get it. F1 has way more viewers and fans. So does soccer, in America, Football is still number 1. So why are you guys portrayed as super stars?" -Atomika

"Oh oh oh oh oh Mac oh yes mac oh oh oh your incredible oh oh oh oh please don't stop ...That's why. You get a female F1 driver and then make her go out with another F1 driver. In Europe it would be cover page everywhere. Relationships are what they want. Things that could involve secrets and rumours. All the other major leagues are all guys. In the NFL you go play the game then leave. The magazines are interested in the drama outside of the game. This is a multi sex league so things like relationships, love triangles, betrayals. Like for example Seeiah is the only female to not be in a relationship with another rider. " -Marty

"Ah your wisdom never stops amazing me. And we probably could have done without the sound effects. Well I guess we should play some music. Here's a little Fatboyslim." -Atomika

The music started to play. The song was only a few minutes until it stopped.

"That was Fatboyslim Don't let the man get you down. And still here is Marty. The most frequent SSX rider to interview here at EA Radio Big." -Atomika

"Really I didn't know that. So I have come here the most amounts of times. Well at least I am number one at something. How many times have the other riders come back? -Marty

"Well you have been here three times not counting that little introducing interview that everyone did. Only two other SSX riders have stopped by. Zoe was one, didn't stay to long though. Eddie has come by once. I realized after the introduction interview I could tell multiple won't be coming back anytime soon. I defiantly knew Mac wasn't going to come back. And that thing you and me did to him didn't help it. As well as Marisol and Elise. Those two are a little to plastic to carry out a real radio conversation. -Atomika

This conversation ran for quite a few hours. Until Marty finally decided to pack it in. He left called for his car. He was then picked up and sent back to his hotel. He got to the elevator and the doors opened. Marty looked inside and saw Zoe and Psymon. Both had their pants off and were going at it strong.

"Oh my God! My Eyes! Holy Fucking Jesus Christ! What The Fuck, Oh My God, What The Fuck Are You Doing?" Marty said looking away and covering his eyes with his arm.

Psymon noticing Marty's presence but not stopping. "Oh hey Marty you coming in?

"No I think I'll take the stairs." Marty said turning around and heading for the stairs. He made his way up to his room and opened the door. Inside he saw the maid making his sheets of his bed.

"Oh sorry eh I am not quite done with making your bed eh," She told him. Marty didn't care he walked over to his couch and took a nap.


	5. The Moron Convention Part 2

Disclaimer: We do not own SSX or any of the characters but we do own the plots so don't go stealing them.

Reviews

NA- Once again our only reviewer (which really sucks) so here's a big thank you. Also Kaori is supposed to be a little OOC , mainly because, A: Most of her personality is a joke, a fake, she's pre packaged pop without the pop, and she really only lets down the charade when she is with close friends and allies. B: because something big happened between Marty and Kaori, we don't really know what yet, but it changed her and is the main reason of the changes in Marty's life, and she just can't act happy and cheerful around him.

The Moron Convention Part 2

Marty woke up with his Mcomm going off in his ear. He swore to himself and made a mental note not to sleep on his Mcomm. He grabbed it and put it to his ear. "Eddie huh? ... what your outside my room? Open it, it's unlocked," Marty said. He then lied back down on his couch. Eddie slammed open the door and strode in.

"Hey man, we are having a chill party in my room," Eddie said. "Or are you too good for us now?"

"Fine, fine just no weed, you know I gave that up and I am not going to one of your "fun circles" if everyone of you are high," Marty said, "And the reason I stopped going last season was when we decided that we should watch every single psychidelic movie ever made. After I quit."

"Hey man those were cool. Fine no weed, Brodi's not coming either, since he apparently has previous engagements," Eddie said, obviously bored with this conversation. The two of them then left the room and entered Eddie's and Viggo's which were right next to Marty's.

If Marty thought his room was big, Viggo's and Eddie's were huge, or at least it looked like that. It was completely redesigned, with a sort of rave/70's look. Which was very unique. Everything was bright coloured and radiating. There was tons of lava lamps and flashing lights. Marty who hadn't even touched anything in his room was amazed about how much they had gotten done.

They entered a room to the direct right of the door. In the room there was a circular bed that stretched from wall to wall. In the corners there were lava lamps and it looked to be designed by the same guy who designed the plane in the original Austin Power movie.

On the bed, which was obviously Eddie's, had two people on it, one was Allegra, and another was a very beautiful girl who was Eddie's girl friend. Her name was Liz (No one knew if that was her full name or a shortened form of something) After the crash that was Eddie and Elise's time going out. Eddie found this girl after he almost crashed into her while street luging. Elise though was still very protective of Eddie and gave Liz the meanest stares.

"Okay ladies, since Brodi couldn't make it, I convinced an original circle boy (What Eddie called the people who started this) to join us. But Marty is clean so he convinced me to make this clean. No weed, we will save it for another time," Eddie said jumping on the bed. He got out a remote and it started to spin it.

When they first started this, Eddie would bring this large wooden circular table that was three feet high to each hotel room. Eddie, Brodi, Marty and Psymon would sit on it and smoke weed while joking about other things. Psymon stopped not long afterwards. It was two months though till Marty quit smoking up, and a week after that when he stopped coming. Which Eddie was quite angry about.

"So what have you people been doing to keep yourselves busy?" Marty asked, he sat next to Allegra, seeming as though Eddie was quite comfortable lying on Liz while also taking up three quarters of the bed.

"Well I have been trying to get that damned Seeiah out of my room. She is so annoying. She brings home at least two guys every night when she has been partying with Viggo. She sounds like she is having a Wookie orgy every time she does too," Allegra said. Marty just looked at her disgusted. "What? She does!"

"Well thanks for putting that terrible image in our heads," Eddie said. "Then again back when it was the original four. Psymon put a lot worst images in our heads,"

Marty nodding his head. "You have got that right. Speaking of Psymon and bad images. Did anyone see him and Zoe fucking in the elevator?"

"Oh my fucking god they were at it ALL day!" Allegra exclaimed. Liz laughed at this and so did Eddie. Allegra never really did like Liz, but she tried to hide it.

Marty stood up and exclaimed with his arms "Shit, can't people find, I don't know, private places to screw, shit."

"Yeah like this room!" Eddie exclaimed. Marty instantly jumped and tried to get as far as he could from the bed.

Liz laughed hard and Marty yelled "You better be joking! You shit face, seriously I have had enough of this whole fuck craze thing going 'round." Marty shook his fist at Eddie.

"Yeah I was joking man, I haven't done it in this bed yet, ... yet," Eddie exclaimed.

"You see I really fucking hate when you do that! From now on I am just going to stand in the doorway!" Marty exclaimed. It was Allegra's turn to laugh at that as Marty came and just stood in the doorway.

Allegra thought for a second before saying "What is with this whole fuck anything that moves thing everyone seems to be doing. The only guy who I know for a fact isn't fucking anyone here is Jurgen cause he's got a family back home,"

"I ain't fucking no one. Of course its not like I don't want to its just. I don't believe in the JP philosophy about rock star sex. I dunno it just is kind of creepy to me," Marty said.

Liz had a confused look on her face. "Wait what is JP's philosophy about rock star sex?" She asked the group. Allegra also had a confused look on her face. She too had no idea what Marty was talking about.

Eddie of course sighed cause he had to explain. "JP's philosophy to rock star sex is simple. If you have thousands of screaming young women who will do anything to fuck you. Well why don't you. His fan club now has something for the girls called the JP high club for all the girls who have had sex with him. Of course he would only do this when he was single. He did a lot of women during the last season. Seeiah, and even sometimes Moby would do that. This year it is obvious Viggo has also started to follow JP's philosophy,"

There was a knock at the front door of the suite. Eddie got up and walked up to the door. When he opened it there was Kaori. She told him something Marty wasn't able to hear what. After Kaori was done speaking she left the doorway. Eddie came back to the bunch. "Well apparently there was a stabbing at the nightclub so all the other riders have come back here. So their partying in Moby's and Mac's room."

Marty didn't wait to find out what the others thought. He left the room and out of the suite to the hallway. Once out he headed to Moby's room which was open. He walked in to see everyone standing in their little groups. Marty then saw Viggo heavily making out with someone who looked like a super model. The first thought in Marty's head was to warn Eddie not to bring Allegra in here. But right when he turned to go. Allegra and Eddie were standing in the doorway. Allegra with the widest eyes Marty had ever seen ran out of the doorway crying.

This infuriated Eddie. Eddie who looked to be steaming ran up to the couch where Viggo and the girl were. Eddie grabbed the girl and threw her off of Viggo. Viggo stood up to face Eddie. But right then Eddie punched Viggo in the face. Mac came up to Eddie and pushed him. Mac was thinking he was all mighty and powerful until a fist hit his jaw and he went straight down to the ground. Mac looked up to Marty looking down on him. Marty then lifted his foot over Mac's face. At the same time Moby hit Eddie. Then Luther attacked Moby and the whole place turned into a all out brawl.

After the second kick to Mac's face. Marty was about to do his third when Kaori latched onto Marty yelling at him to stop. Marty tried to shake her only to have Mac upper cut his jaw. Marty took a few steps back only to have Mac punch him in the stomach. Then Mac kicked Marty's knee and sent Marty tumbling down to the ground. Mac then started to kick Marty rapidly in the stomach. Marty coughed up some blood. Right then Nate punched Mac in the face which made him go stumbling to the ground. Nate then grabbed Marty and helped him up. The two of them then faced Mac. Nate reached down and grabbed Mac by the shoulder and lifted him up. Then Marty and Nate took turns punching him. Until finally Nate just threw him onto the floor where Kaori quickly rushed to her knees next to Mac. She then started to cry. Marty really couldn't have cared any less.

Marty looked around to see Eddie and Brodi kicking Viggo on the ground. Moby and Psymon fighting off Luther and JP. Nate told Marty then should leave. Marty nodded but before he did he ran up to Viggo and kicked him in the jaw. Then Marty and Nate left the room. They walked into Marty's suite. Nate helped Marty to the couch where he layed down.

"Well I guess you could say that escalated fast. Sorry it took so long to come and help but I had to get Griff out of there. Cause I knew Griff wouldn't live to see tomorrow if he got caught in one of those fights. The kids such a ignorant idiot. He drives me nuts. I got to ask EA Canada if I can come and move in with you. I swear to god that kid sniffs sugar," Nate said.

Marty chuckled only to have a sharp pain in his side. "Yeah I hate that kid to death. Oh by the way there is some scotch in the kitchen,"

Nate grew a large smile as he got up and headed for the kitchen. Once there he got the large scotch bottle and two glasses. He then also looked around for a second until he looked back at Marty. "Hey man you got any smokes in here?" Nate asked.

"Well...I got some tobacco and rolling paper in the upper left drawer next to the fridge," Marty told Nate. "And in case you need a light there is a lighter in the drawer under it," Nate then came from the kitchen with two glasses of scotch and a cigarette in his mouth. He put the two glasses on the coffee table and sat down on the chair across from the couch. Nate then took out his lighter and lit the cigarette.

Nate then thought for a second. "Dude don't you keep your stash in the old cigar case in the drawer with the lighter?"

"Yeah that's where my stash is. There is enough for about three joints in there why?" Marty asked.

"Well I just looked into it when I was grabbing the lighter and it appears to only have enough for about one," Nate told Marty. Marty looked very confused. Jumped up only to have a sharp pain in his side. Stumbling he walked over to the drawer. He opened it then looked into the old cigar holder.

Marty's face then completely changed. "Griff! I am going to kill that little son of a bitch! I bet he has been stealing my weed!" Marty then walked out of the kitchen only to have another sharp pain in the side. "In the morning," He stumbled back onto his couch and laid down.

He then drank his scotch and fell asleep.


	6. The Moron Convention Part 3

Message from the writers: Now if you have read any of our other stuff you will have figured that we are comedy writers. So this chapter here is a little bit on the softer side and more of a fun chapter.

Disclaimer: We do not own SSX or any of the characters but we do own the plots so don't go stealing them.

The Moron Convention Part 3

Marty woke up, by an alarm clock. Which was confusing at first because he didn't have one. He looked at his chest and there seemed to be a piece of paper on it. He sat up and put his feet on the ground, which was covered in glass. He swore to himself and pull out a piece that got itself lodged in his foot.

Hmm I must have dropped it, or something, Marty thought to himself. He got up and grabbed a broom. He swept up the glass wondering if he dropped his glass or did Nate. Either or, he was going to blame it on Nate, made himself feel better. Though he promised himself never to ask Nate who actually did, cause it was probably his.

His attention then went on the note. He picked it up ad read it.

_Dear Marty_

_**GET DOWN TO THE MEETING ROOM BY 9:00 OR YOU WILL DIE**_

_love_

_EA Canada _

Oh, someone seems pissed, Marty thought to himself. He looked at his clock and it read 8:50. Marty swore to himself loudly and ran out of his room. When he got to the bottom level he was really pooped.

He entered the meeting room though, walking slowly and with a smile on. In the room was a "U" shaped table with a very high member of EA Canada in the open area of the table. He also looked like he was about to kill every member. This is going to be fun.

It took thirty more minutes for all riders to show up. When they did the guy seemed about to burst a vein. He was wringing his wrist's and what sounded like saying a prayer. "Okay, now that you all seemed to be here, I will now tell you why I call you all here. Because ... You are all fucking morons! First there is a stabbing at a club where there is half the SSX riders! Then you fucking dip shits have the great fucking idea of killing each other in the biggest fight ever to happen in this fucking hotel! Do you dumb asses have any fucking idea about how much Fucking bad fucking press we are getting! Do you know what you are supposed to do after something goes very fucking wrong and illegal when you are at a place, while you are a celebrity! Do you know what! Jesus Christ I bet you fucking dumb fucking fuckers don't even know! You lay low! You don't start a fight in a completely different place!

"You know what, your lucky I don't fucking suspend half of you! Do any of you know why this fucking dumb ass shit thing happened? From what I hear it is because Viggo was making out with someone else and Allegra caught him and so Eddie decided to fucking punch him!" Then the EA guy walked up to Eddie. "What the fuck? That is what do fucking celebrities do! They fucking fuck other fucking fucks who they are not suppose to be fucking!"

Then he moved over to where Mac was "And You! Instead of just leaving it to those two fucking morons. You fucking get involved! You don't even like Viggo or hate fucking idiot over there but you still get fucking involved. And of course Marty here has to fucking take his chance to get revenge for the fucking shit he doesn't even know Mac was fucking involved in! Now fucking fucktard Moby now has to go after Eddie! Why? Who fucking knows! And now it has overly escalated,"

Now the guy walked over to where Psymon and Zoe were sitting. "And now these two fucking retards take the stupidest fucks alive award. Not only do you two fuck each other in the elevator. Even though you're in a fucking hotel, you can't control your fucking hormones. And not only that your in the high class hotel were staying out. And we spent enough fucking money bribing the security staff to not sell the fucking security camera footage! You then go partying and a person of the media who you both have shown aggression against. GETS FUCKING STABBED And your right next to the fucker at the fucking time of fucking stabbing! Then you go back to the hotel and join these dumb shits at the fucking moron convention! Where your crowded King retard and Queen Stupid Bitch! Then you have a Fucking Victory FUCK! And guess where? Not in you fucking room!"

"Uh...Jake...do I have to be here? My kids are waiting for me in the front lounge," Jurgen asked.

The guy turned to face Jurgen. "Oh...sure you can go sorry. Hey say hi to Betty for me,"

"I will," Jurgen got up and left.

"You Mother fucking moronic idiots! If you have another shit fucking damn fucking fight like you fucking had last god damn night. We will suspend half of you! And the others will all start living in a two star hotel! All in one room! With one fucking Bed!

"And you two!" Jake said pointing at Allegra and Viggo. "You are going to forget this ever happened! The only good press we have been getting lately are about you two, Hell you are almost as popular as the Mac and Kaori thing!" Which at that Kaori muttered something under her breath. Obviously she didn't like her relationship to be called a thing.

"Now you fucking dumb ass satan praising shits are to all go and think about what you have done while I go and contemplate murder!" to which the guy stormed out of the room, still swearing loudly.

"Well he seemed to be pissed," Psymon said.

Then a woman wearing a small dress, carrying a clip board walked into the room. She walked into the centre and rubbed the wrinkles off of her dress. She coughed and put on some glasses. Every SSX rider seemed to be bored. "Okay you dumb fucks you are going to have to do some things over the next few days to try to get some good press," the woman said in a very nice tone.

"Okay first, Viggo and Allegra. You guys are going to always be holding hands, Allegra, giggle a lot, kiss a lot in public and if anyone asks how you're relationship is, say it has never been better," the woman said. Viggo shrugged, while Allegra didn't look very angry.

"Second is Psymon and Zoe. No more fucking in public places, hell how about none at all, Psymon, no more attacking random people, Zoe, please stop threatening the media, and I repeat no more sex in public places." The two of them didn't really seem very affected.

"Third Griff. No more going to bars and clubs. All bouncers and bartenders have been warned. Please try to quit smoking, and stop trying to pick up chicks at the local highschool, please." Griff seemed angry by these commands, mainly because that was all he ever did.

"Fourth Seeiah. Actually this goes with Viggo too, no more none stop partying. You two were almost too tired to get to the last competition. So no more partying for 24 hours at a time." Seeiah, who didn't seem to be listening didn't move.

"Fifth Hiro, You will be clean for the next little while. You have missed the second last event. And because of that you weren't allowed to be in the last one. So stop with the drugs and be at the next few events." Hiro rolled his eyes.

"Sixth Mac and Marty, Moby and JP. Start getting along. Stop making all these big scenes all over town. No more fights, not even against other people. You heard that right. NO more fighting." Of course none of them seamed to be that pleased with those orders.

"Seventh Luther and Nate. Please stop smoking up like chimneys and drinking like your about to die. You are giving bad messages to the children fans of SSX." Luther laughed at that, he thought that was funny while Nate seemed to shrug it off.

"Eighth Eddie. Okay just stop doing what ever crazy shit you do. Calm down, do Tai Chi or something. Or at least avoid being in public when doing that." Eddie was actually confused by that request. (Afterwards he would ask many other people what that meant and none of them could really give him an answer)

"Ninth Elise and Marisol. Stop being super bitches. And when paparazzi jump out at you, don't pose please, it is not a photo shoot, your making yourselves look insane." Both Marisol and Elise seemed to be quite angered by that.

"Tenth Kaori and Brodi. You seem to be the only sane ones here ... so well keep up the good work! And finally we don't pay you millions to just sit around and do nothing. Get out there and fucking snowboard!" She said pointing to the door. There were many grumbles as all the SSX riders left the room.

Marty looked at his watch. "Fuck its only 9:50 I am so going back to bed." It wasn't long until he figured everyone had the same idea. He was the last one out of the room. After a few minutes walking on the first level. He turned a corner the see the elevator doors closing. He quickly started to run for it. "Hey Wait!" Marty yelled but right when he got to the doors they had shut. He swore to himself and looked across the hall to a door with the words saying staircase on it and sighed. Once he got to his suite he was so tired he walked over to his couch and just collapsed.

Message from the Writers: Well there you have it the end of The Moron Convention. We are pleased to announce though that the next section all three parts are finished so look for the updates through now and January.


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